Posted by
Thomas Talamantez on Tuesday, July 14, 2009 7:35:43 PM
Much has been said about the cost of the Michael Jackson Memorial that took place in Los Angeles this past week. When I first heard the story, I thought it was a joke, possibly a satiracal piece on a politically correct scenario being carried out to the absurd. To my surprise, I learned that this is an actual consideration. There seems to be a debate over an issue that common sense would not normally grant any creedence to. The issue is "who should pay for the event?" Seems like a silly question for most of us as all families are responsible for the cost of their own memorial services, so it is ludicrous that one of the most successful families in the world could not cover their own costs. Well, when it comes to the brain trust that is the L.A. City Council, don't underestimate their ability to veer off the road of common sense right into Never Never Land.
L.A. City Councilman, Jan Perry, has lobbied to the City Council to cover the cost of the memorial service on behalf of the Jackson family. This is the same city that has asked city employees to take a 10% paycut while other employees are facing possible layoffs. In a city with the highest paid teachers in the nation and nearly the lowest test scores in the nation, the city council is considering giving a gift in the form of tax dollars to one of the richest families in America. In a city that just increased sales tax to almost 10% to cover the fiscal incompetence of local government, Ms. Perry wants to increase her street cred by paying millions of dollars on behalf of the Jackson family. It is unclear if the L.A. City Council is grossly incompetent, blinded by arrogance or caught up in the Obama nanny state hysteria, whatever the reason, it is quite clear that their time in service to the community has run it's course.
Since there seems to be a financial crisis in which the family cannot pay for the event, I would like to offer a few helpful suggestions to address this problem. First, the family missed a tremendous opportunity to generate revenue in Los Angeles which could have covered all of the costs. Below I have listed Seven Easy Steps to a Profitable Celebrity Memorial:
1) Instead of giving away tickets, sell tickets or do an auction which would have been more lucrative; 2) The event was televised widely so they could have generated SuperBowl type ad revenue; 3) They could have produced a commerative DVD of the service to be sold online which would generate more revenue; 4) Concessions, parking and a commemorative program are another revenue stream, though I understand they did give away a very nice, hearty program; 5) Make a collectable t-shirt for sale to commemorate the event; 6) Huge revenue could be generated from sponsors such as the ACLU, NAMBLA and the NAACP; 7) This worship service would not be complete without an offering; considering that the net-worth of the high roller celebrity guestlist is north of $1billion dollars, it seems reasonable that they would pony up to cover the cost of "one of their own."
Now they did miss the boat on Los Angeles, but there is nothing to prevent them from taking this show on the road. I am not sure if there is any "east coast" "west coast" tension when it comes to Michael Jackson, but still there are plenty of cities that would welcome the show, in fact the show could travel worldwide and produce hundreds of millions of dollars. I am providing this hundred million dollar idea on behalf of the good folks of Los Angeles to try and avert the misuse of tax dollars. Since I am in a giving mood myself, I will only require a ten percent commission after expenses on the proceedes from the tour. If the show is not that profitable, at least we can keep the hype alive to continue generating album sales and as a last resort, a failed tour could probably even hit the man up for a bailout.